


Fix me

by madswritings



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Death, F/M, Underage Reader, mentions of abuse, platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-27 18:44:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10039178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madswritings/pseuds/madswritings
Summary: Reader is an Obscurus but she hasn’t realized it. When her father dies she let’s go of her bottled up emotions and begins a rampage through the city. Newt is quick enough to find her, follow her, and convince her to let him help her. | As per request on Tumblr





	

You can’t say exactly when it started. Those strange things in your life that you had no idea how to call. They were just there. With you, around you, within you. But your parents didn’t recognize the gift you had, instead they scared you with mental asylums and witches, saying that either you must burn at the stake like all those women in Salem did or you must be locked up for your own ‘too active imagination’. And while scared you did stop showing what you can around your parents it didn’t end just there. One day your father walked in on you levitating your doll in the air. You immediately received a grade A spanking after which you weren’t able to sit straight at the dinner table that same day but since then you were pretty sure that your powers can’t be pure and come from God. Because God don’t let simple people perform miracles especially when those miracles don’t benefit anyone.  
So you kept it yourself, your powers, your abilities, anything that made you not ‘normal’, that made people doubt your devotion to a God your parents forced you to believe. And you stopped believing in God long time ago. Why? Because no God would let suffer you like this. Not likes this, being beaten by your parents for doing something humanly impossible, not being locked away in your room and fed only bread and water.  
But as you grew up you couldn’t find it yourself to blame your parents or to hate them. While you thought your parents were couple of idiots, you knew they never really wanted to harm you. Just beat the Devil out of you before it started bringing trouble not you only but to your parents as well. And while you felt hurt and alone, you didn’t want any harm coming to them. Especially when you found some truth in their beliefs. You saw many girls from high class families being pure and proud of who they are. Not a hint of supernatural was in them and you wanted to be as beautiful and happy as them so you repressed what you had and vowed to never use it again in your life.  
Yet it wasn’t the end of your worries. You started feeling sick often, especially in the morning. You were always tired and always annoyed even by your parents. Everything seemed to be wrong in your eyes and while you tried to be as jolly as those girls you envied so much it was hardly happening. Sometimes you felt like you wanted to rip your own heart out and toss is far away, where you wouldn’t need it.  
Your parents started noticing the change in your health and mood as well but while they tried their best to help you – you didn’t want their help. You just, even for one moment in your life, wanted to be normal. Normal as any kid you see in the street.  
Was it even possible at this point? You weren’t sure anymore.  
________________________________________  
You come back from school feeling tired. Kids were teasing you again for your poor clothes and lack of lunch and you tried your best to win them over with your smile, but smile was hardly showing up on your face as you were feeling more and more tired with each passing hour. For a moment you caught yourself wondering – do people, before they die, feel this tired too? Because somehow, even if you haven’t fully grasped the concept of death yet, you know that it feels exactly like this.  
When you step through the front door and drop your bag on the floor you suddenly hear sobbing from somewhere inside the apartment.  
“Mom?” You ask out loud because you recognize the voice as your mother’s. The sobbing stops for a moment then continues with even more agony in it that before.  
You kick off your shoes and slowly start moving to the kitchen where you know you’ll find your mother. You stop before you step from behind the corner and listen to your mothers crying for a moment but finally squeeze your fingers into fists and step into the view.  
Your mother doesn’t raise her head from her palms, where she’s crying into a napkin. She’s sitting by the desk alone and you don’t understand what might’ve happened to upset your mom this much.  
“Mom?” You ask this time more carefully and step to her. She doesn’t move and you are afraid that she might yell at you to get out of her sight, but she only turns to you her red from crying face and you suddenly feel like crying too. Your mom never shows any sorrow in front of you so seeing her devastated like this is making you sad without even knowing the cause. “Mom…” You try once more and before you react she grabs you by your arms and pulls you into her hands pushing you strongly against her chest.  
For a long moment she cries in your hair and when you raise your hands to hug her back or stroke her hair she suddenly leans back from you, while grasping your shoulders with her fingers.  
“Y/N. I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.” She almost breaks at the last word but manages to keep her composure just long enough to tell you what have happened.  
“Mom, what is it?” You ask confused and almost crying yourself and when your mom sees your eyes she manages a smile. After all she doesn’t want to upset you more than necessary.  
“Your father… He had an accident at work. He’s… not coming back, Y/N.” The smile is gone and your mom’s voice is strong but only because she knows she has to be strong for you now.  
You feel like your small bubble of hopes and dreams shatters right here right now. You look into your mother’s eyes and you see no lie in them, but you never saw it in them not even once before. You know she’s not lying.  
After staring at her for a moment you feel how indescribable sadness overwhelms you and your expression twists with grief. You start crying, loud, not restraining your emotions because you don’t care anymore what those beautiful girls would do right now. They have their fathers while you don’t. Not anymore.  
You mother pulls you into her arms again and strokes your back letting you cry. First moments are the hardest, she knows that. But she also knows that from now on it’s not going to get any easier.  
________________________________________  
When you wake up in your room you can’t remember how you ended up here. Did your parents bring you here? You do feel exhausted a lot recently. You slowly sit up seeing that it’s almost dark outside the window and you stretch a bit rubbing your eyes, feeling your face is swollen.  
But why is it swollen?  
It hits you like a brick wall once more. You father, your dad is not coming home ever again.  
You lower your head feeling like you want to just fall asleep and never wake up. You close your eyes firmly and behind the lids you see your father, smiling as he picks you up from the floor and spins you around. He hasn’t done this in a while, but it’s such a beautiful memory. You start crying, this time more silently, more painfully. You feel something inside of you, the witch part, being torn apart by your grief but you don’t think of containing it anymore. What good that brought you? Kids are still mocking you and you don’t look like those princess girls even one bit. You’ll never be like them, you’ll never be someone as beautiful and happy as them. You don’t feel like you can be happy ever again. Not after today.  
“I don’t care anymore.” You mutter to yourself and suddenly your body stiffens, your back bends back and your eyes lose its color and pupils, they become white.  
Something inside you whispers – let go and your pain will go away.  
And you let go. Let go of that penned down anger, pain, agony, and every single negative emotion you ever had. You just want to be happy and if this power can give you that happiness, even for one moment, it’s worth it.  
Suddenly you feel like you leave your body but not exactly. You feel how you rise, everything’s slowed down before your eyes but it’s not like you have eyes either. You feel like a shapeless form and you cry out because of your sorrow, letting go even more, letting this strange thing consume you, devour you from within.  
And when you break through your bedrooms wall into the outside you somehow feel familiar with all of this. It’s like you’ve known this for your whole life, like you experienced this many times before.  
With unexpected lightness you rise in the air and seek out to not to touch, but to destroy. Your pain is so big you want others to see it, to feel it, to know what you’re going through.  
Bricks fall behind you as you touch, sometimes smash against the buildings. You are so strong you send cars flying. You enjoy this power more than you expected and you want to see where your limit is. You rise and fall and fly around the city with sinister joy, destroying everything in your path until, for a split second, one thought crosses your minds – you harmed people, you probably killed many of them too.  
With a cry from your very soul you try to contain your anger and your destruction but it’s not listening to you anymore. You feel like you’re fading inside of yourself and you can’t do anything about it. You are torn between your sorrow and your anger.  
“Please, listen to me!” You suddenly hear a voice. This sentence is meant for you because it’s not a scream. You pause, surprised at this person who was brave enough to stand in front of you at your Evil Glory. You watch him from above as a man in blue coat looks at you. He’s a little crouching and there’s something in his hand that he’s pointing at you.  
Is he trying to hurt you? Hurt you even more?!  
As you raise even higher to strike him the man leans back and raises his hands in defense.  
“Please, just listen to me, I don’t want to harm you. I won’t harm you, I promise!”  
Something in his words makes you reconsider. You watch him, unsure of what you should do, watching him curiously from somewhere of your clouded mind.  
“I’m Newt. My name is Newt. And you are?”  
You try to respond but nothing comes out, like you don’t have a mouth at all.  
“I know you suffered.” Newt says and you hear sincerity in his voice. “I understand your pain. Please, let me help you.”  
And all of a sudden you start to shift within yourself once more. You retract into yourself, regain your shape, regain your voice and your mind. You stand in front of Newt broken and damaged with tears spilling down your face.  
“No one can help me.” You say with a shaky voice and Newt, who just hid that something he had in his hand, steps closer to you.  
“I’m sure I can help you. Let me at least try.” His eyes are on you, he’s completely focused on you like nothing else matter in this world but you.  
“I will never be perfect. I will never be beautiful and happy!” You cry out as you feel your form flicker but Newt is in front of you now. He gently takes you by your upper arms as he kneels in front of you, looking at you from bellow.  
“I promise I will do everything in my power to help you. Please, just don’t let go, don’t let go.” His voice is almost pleading now and you don’t know how but you feel like this stranger is truly trying to help you, that he really cares about you.  
“But I’m not normal.” You mutter tears still streaming from your eyes and Newt gives you a little smile.  
“There’s a whole world of us who aren’t normal.”  
“There… is?” You ask surprised and your curiosity finally overcomes your grief, at least long enough to lock your wrath inside of you, for now.  
“Yes. Let me show it to you. As long as you’re willing to accept my help.” Newt’s smile is a bit bigger now and while you still don’t feel like smiling you slowly nod wiping your tears away.  
“Please, just don’t let me… fall apart again.” You whisper so silently that you doubt Newt heard it, but he did. And she looks at you without a smile now, he pulls you into a hug, making you kneel in front of him.  
“I will be here for you from now on. I promise.” He whispers as he holds you tight and you grasp his blue coat firmly, trying not to cry.  
“Thank you.” You mutter with your breaking voice and your eyes shut firmly.  
He believes you. Newt found you just in time. 

**Author's Note:**

> Want me to write a fic for you? Check my tumblr @madswritings.tumblr.com for current fic status and rules.


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